This hasn’t always been easy

I’ve  never considered myself to be all that attached to physical possessions. It’s been more about the people and experiences in  my life, rather than the “stuff”. But all of the preparation for life on the road — purging the “stuff” — isn’t just getting rid of accumulated possessions, it’s also about dismantling my LIFE.

Five years ago, I had a more-than-full-time job, two children at home, a very active volunteer life and a comfortable, large home. Then I lost one child in an accident. The other had already moved away to college and never moved back. I had the opportunity to take an early retirement package from my job – and I took it. My priorities changed and as a result my volunteer efforts have shifted and downscaled. Now, I have given up most of my physical possessions and my home will soon be handed over to others. Most of the elements of my have been systematically peeled away so that, ultimately, I can enjoy this traveling life of freedom and adventure.

But, I can’t go just yet! Job and financial considerations have us lingering here, even though emotionally I want to go, go, go! It leaves me feeling untethered and adrift. A part of me mourns the loss of my carefully-crafted home environment and the routine that was so stable for so long.  This is CHANGE, in a big way. And change is not so comfortable – or easy.

Maybe this transition time is necessary. Perhaps I  need time to mourn the loss of my life-that-was in order to fully embrace my life-that-will-be.

I still wish things would move along faster.

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